When things feel bleak is when you might think about the time you get to spend together with the people you love. We do not normally tend to think – at least not consciously – this could be the last thing we do together with people, yet that is how it is. Every minute and every day. Life is always precarious. We are all impermanent beings. None of us really knows how long we are going to be around for, nor what we are going to have to go through. Every day I express the hope that the person I share my life with will be well, happy, peaceful and safe, that he may have good health and be with me for a long, long time, that he may be able to banish his demons, and that somehow we might throttle that black dog that gets its teeth around his neck most mornings, so that it lets go.
When things feel bleak, feelings of fear, hollowness, darkness and cold might come – you have to try to just accept them when they well up inside you, make them welcome and let them be, like strangers you have to let into your sitting room because somehow they have a right to be there. I do not personally believe you can tell them where to go, even though the notion of shouting ‘get thee hence to endless night!’ might be attractive sometimes. Maybe they come as a loving and gentle reminder to try to do the best you can in the now, and not as merchants of doom about what may lie around the corner.
I am for accepting things and going from there, hoping the fears are exaggerated and that somehow, at some level, in some way, whatever comes will not be so bad. And knowing that it too will pass because everything does.
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